Ameristralia

Yesterday Partner-in-Crime sent me this article about a White House petition to create a combined country, American and Australia merged into "Ameristralia." Oh, some people have far too much time on their hands.

The petition itself is obviously a work of absurdity, hardly even funny, in my opinion; but it picked up a bit of attention, as many a silly thing does, when it hit Reddit. The petition is now up to a little over 5,000 signatures, so a mere 95,000 more to warrant a response from the White House. It has, however, created a bevy of rather clever images. A couple of my favorites from a Google Image search of "Ameristralia:"

Hands down the best part of the article is the comments. For people who pride themselves on their wicked humor, there were sure a lot of Aussies who did not think this Ameristralia business was funny. My favorite was poor Derryn of Melbourne - comment no. 48 - who was really wringing his hands over this one (though, not enough to actually read the article, it would seem).

This makes me so angry. We stand proud as an independent nation, we've had our boys fight and die under the Aussie flag, and now the yanks want to just undo that identity to satisfy their egos? I'm proud to be Aussie, I have the Southern Cross tattooed on my arm and I tear up at every dawn service. I like my football to be played without padding. Their beer is wrong. GAAH! On so many levels this angers me! If this petition gets up, and the President has to agree - IS THAT SERIOUSLY ALL IT TAKES!? 100,000 people and we lose everything we hold dear, over 200 years of Australian history, the blood and guts hard work of our nation's founders, down the toilet because the yanks say so! Foreshame Gillard! How could you let this happen! I can't believe this will happen in my lifetime. I will never ever ever give up my flag or my passport or the coins in my wallet for some yank version. I am crying right now. It is so sad. My God. I can't believe it...

Poor Derryn, sweet tatoo-ed, footie, beer, and ANZAC loving Derryn. Home in Melbourne crying actual tears over images dancing in his head of some Red Dawn scenario where Yanks descend from the skies and emerge from the seas to take over this fine,proud land while Julia stands by with a hapless grin and a welcoming wave, as she hands over her country to America, all because 100,000 Americans said it must be so. Foreshame, indeed! Derryn, my dearest, may you one day find the peace of mind you so richly deserve, mate.

Derryn aside, it does get one thinking about Ameristralia. Assuming that all the cities and landmarks remain as is, a few things I'd like to see in my Ameristralia:

From America...
-Baseball
-Ice and free drink refills
-Graham crackers
-Mexican food
-Proper Targets
-Striving for excellence (i.e. - the opposite of tall poppy syndrome)
-Marketplace competition

From Australia...
-Pavlova
-Tim Tams
-Tea breaks
-Wombats
-Medicare
-Australia's gun laws
-Living to work, not working to live

This is a top of my head list, and I'm sure I'll think of more. Expats, feel free to weigh in on your Ameristralia.