Day 12: An Open Letter

12 February 2013


Dear Sydney Bus Drivers and My Fellow Passengers,

I want to say something that people probably don't say to you often, and that is thank you. Sincerely, thank you for all that you have done for me this year. You may have been just doing your job and carefully watching the road or staring out the window with your earbuds in for the majority of our time together, but I did notice you.

I am not a driver. Driving in Sydney scares me to an irrational degree, so though we have a car, I choose to let you, Bus Drivers, take that load of fear and responsibility off my plate. We've always gotten along fine. Drivers, you get me where I need to go (mostly, except the one time when one of you got lost 3 times, that was ... different). And, Riders, we've shared some close spaces at rush hour when I was commuting in and out of the city, and though none of you ever offered me a seat when I was pregnant, we've otherwise co-existed without incident.

Last year, my life changed, and so did our relationship. I had a baby. My baby has a pram. Now, I find myself one of those drawings on the yellow sign on the window, one of those people who takes extra time to get on and off, and one of those people who sometimes forces you out of your comfortable seat so that my small (sometimes cranky and noisy) person and I can take up three, count them three, seats on the bus.

I was so afraid to be this inconvenient rider for many weeks after my baby came along. What if I got on wrong? What if I wasn't fast enough? What if one of you snapped at me? There's a lot of stress in a new mother's life, and riding the bus was more than I was willing to take on.

Eventually, of course, I had places to go that I could not put off going any longer. For some time, I carried the baby in the carrier so that I would not have to be one of the annoying pram people, but eventually, walking 10 minutes up hill with the baby on the front and my yoga mat slung on the side got to be too silly for me to handle, not to mention there was no hope of bringing home any shopping this way. I had to concede the inevitability of taking the pram on the bus. 

My first time, I tried to look like an expert lifting the pram on board and placing it in position - "oh, I've done this a million times!" - but I had a pit in my stomach. However, instead of anyone snarling or getting annoyed with me, the driver lowered down the footstep, smiled - actually smiled - and the other passengers hardly noticed.

Since then, my baby, her pram, and I have frequently ridden buses, at least three or four round trips per week. What I have encountered has been an amazing surprise. Dear, dear Bus Drivers, you never fail to be kind and helpful. At minimum, I get a smile and the courtesy of as much time as I need to get myself settled before you drive off. The best of you have talked to my baby, readjusted the position of the bus to make it easier for me to get off, and even gotten up to arrange our seat for us. I thank you each time, but that hardly seems sufficient for something that makes my life so much easier. And, Riders, you have come through for me in such a big way. I can't remember a time when I have had a trip where another passenger, a complete stranger, hasn't offered to help me get my pram onto the bus. I truly am an "expert" now, and can manage without you, but you don't know that, and you are so kind to ask, rather than just standing there waiting until I struggle. You, especially you sweet old ladies riding the bus in the middle of the day, smile and pull faces at my baby, and it brings her so much joy. She looks for you every trip. Gentleman in Crow's Nest who rescued my daughter's $2 dump truck after she chucked it under the stopped bus and I was too harried to dive after it, I have not forgotten you, you lovely man.

Bus Drivers and Riders, you sometimes get a bum rap, if you get noticed at all. I write you this open letter to tell you that I notice your kindness and generosity. Travelling with a baby and a pram is inconvenient and fraught with annoyances, but all of your collective small gestures towards my daughter and me have added up to something much larger - a feeling of faith that a busy city can still have a beating heart.

Gratefully,

C and Hushpuppy

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