Day 25: Sorry, Cate Blanchett

Day 25: Revisit an old post that you now have more to say about.

I have deleted one post from this blog in its four year history, and, though I can't let you read it because it no longer exists, that is the post that I would like to revisit. I have a long overdue apology to make.

Back in 2010, I insisted that we buy tickets to Sydney Theatre Company's production of Uncle Vanya. A few years earlier, I was lucky enough to have been given a ticket to the dress rehearsal of STC's Hedda Gabler when it played at BAM in New York, I knew that a chance to see Cate Blanchett on stage was a chance worth showing up for. That production was uneven, but she is an actress you can't take your eyes off of. She's magnetic. To see her is to know why she's a movie star. So, off we went to the Wharf to see Vanya, which featured a stunning ensemble cast, including Richard Roxburgh, John Bell, Hugo Weaving, and Jackie Weaver.

I was in a real mood the night we went to the theatre. Actually, I think I was in a mood for the whole month before and after we went to the theatre. Sydney was not agreeing with me, and the theatre in Australia was not agreeing with me, as I was struggling with finding any work, or even to volunteer. I was sick of everything Down Under.

This production of Vanya turned out to be utterly Australian in style. It was a last straw for me. I did not want my Vanya to be Australian, as I was so angry with Australia. I left the theatre in an absolute fury. Within the week, I'd dashed off a cranky review on my blog. If I recall correctly, I was actually generous to the actors, who I could not deny were exceptional, but I took the production and director to task for what I perceived as missteps (i.e. - making it Australian when I was so over Australia, though I came up with different reasons why I felt the interpretation was flawed).

I figured, really, who cared what I said about it. The chances that anyone at STC or anyone who cared would read my review seemed pretty slim, and so there it sat on my blog for the next year and a half, even as I came to terms with Australia and the theatre.

Then in 2012, STC took the production to the U.S. By then, I was pretty active in the Twitter theatre community in the U.S. and Australia, and of course, I had plenty of "real life" connections, as well. And so it was that I found myself in exchanges with a couple of theatre critics at important U.S. papers about the production. I'd softened by then, and suggested it was quite good, and that they'd enjoy it, all the while remembering in the back of my head that I'd posted otherwise, some time before.

Turns out that pretty much every critic in the U.S. didn't just like STC's Vanya, they loved it. They were falling over themselves to come up with enough adjectives. I don't know when I've seen such universal adoration for a production. I knew I had been wrong. Sure, art is subjective, but when the agreement is so unanimous as to the merits of a production. it's clear I missed it, altogether. I knew why. It was the funk. It was my pain about feeling dismissed from the theatre world. It was my problem with accepting my new life and new home. It was not Vanya.

And then,  I noticed in my blog stats that someone had come here by searching my twitter handle plus Uncle Vanya. My poor showing was plain for anyone with Google to find. So, I removed the post, as I did not stand by it any longer, and I did not want to put my name behind it.

I doubt that any real damage was done by my review on this little blog, but I've felt badly about it, and the fact that it sat on my here for anyone to read for nearly two years. I'm sorry Cate Blanchett. I'm sorry Andrew Upton. I'm sorry Richard Roxburgh, and John Bell, and Hugo Weaving, and Anthony Phelan, and Haley McElhinney, and Jackie Weaver. Your work was commendable. My attitude was not. I want everyone with Google to know that your Vanya was brilliant, and I only wish I could see it again through a less hazy and culturally confused lens.