Atlanta to Sydney

The Eagle has landed!

After my long hiatus, I’m back in Australia. One of the biggest obstacles to traveling to Australia from the U.S. – both financially and mentally – is the famously long flight. My ears perked up with I saw Inception, where a key plot point is that that flight from Sydney to LAX is the longest in the world. Well, a quick Google search proves that to be patently untrue, Mr. Nolan – in fact, my flight (DL 17 – LAX to SYD) is only the 27^th longest flight in the world, at 14 hours and 51 minutes. Here’s the list of the top 30, should you be curious.

In any case, it is a long, long trip, so I decided that I could help pass the time by, well, keeping track of how I passed the time. So, readers, below is the answer to the question some of you have asked - “what is that trip like?”

2:00 p.m. (all times are EST) – Arrive at ATL airport and check in my two bags, which are allowed to be up to 50 pounds each. Mine were 39 and 50 pounds. Whew!

2:55 p.m. – Get past security and find a store to buy one of these dorky, but oh-so-comfortable neck pillows. Yes, I am now one of those people.

3:05 p.m. – Last socially respectable Starbucks stop.

3:40 p.m. – Board 4:10 ATL to LAX flight. I have to mention that I’ve never seen so many cranky, rude people in one place. I feel your pain, Steven Slater.

I spent most of the flight reading Rosanne Cash’s biography, Composed, which she so kindly released right in time for my travels.

8:51 p.m. – Land in L.A. I purposely planned a long layover because a dear old friend lives in L.A., and this gave us the chance to meet up for dinner. The weather in L.A. was incredible, almost cold, which served as a nice buffer between the hot, hot Atlanta summer and the impending Australian winter. My friend picked me up and we drove to her apartment, picked up some sushi and visited Trader Joe’s where we grabbed a bottle of South Australian Shyrah. What a lovely visit we were able to cram in!

12:20 a.m. – Return to LAX

1:05 a.m. – Board LAX to SYD flight. This plane is one of those with those nifty fold-out flatbed seats in first class. I’m not in one of those seats. The flight was very full, so I was incredibly lucky to be in a bank of seats with no one in the middle. There was a lot of hustle and bustle, as all the passengers got seated, and the flight attendants came over the intercom asking the “gentlemen” to help the ladies stow their luggage, imploring them that “your mothers would be proud.”

1:35 a.m. – Scheduled take-off time. Alas, we had a bit of a wait. The pilot came on to tell us that they were still fueling the plane, and that it took awhile to load up the requisite 291,000 pounds of fuel. Holy carbon footprint, Batman.

2:00 a.m. – Pilot comes back on to tell us that we have a mechanical problem – a broken pin – whatever that means. Sighs and groans can be heard around the aircraft, full of people already anxious about the length of the flight. The guy behind me gets on his cell phone to Delta customer service asking “what are you going to do for me. Every time I fly Delta I’m late, and I’m spending thousands of dollars.” I’d hate to be the person who had to take that call.

2:45 a.m. – Takeoff!

3:15 a.m. – Our seats are, mercifully, equipped with personal TV screens and an excellent selection of movies, TV shows, and music. I watch an episode of 30 Rock, followed by an episode of Nurse Jackie.

4:30 a.m. – Dinner. I took the pasta option. The food on this Delta flight has always been pretty good. The pasta is hot, and served with a little salad, roll, and brownie.

5:15 a.m. – Nap time. The cabin lights get turned off after dinner, and most of the passengers go to sleep. I’m sure those people in the flatbeds sleep soundly, but in coach, the endeavor requires a good deal of creativity and ends not so much in the quality snooze time. I identified a few sleeping positions, none of which are perfect because they always end in limbs falling asleep or cricks in the neck. My sleeping positions, which I have artfully drawn for you in Paint:

9 a.m. – Mid-flight meal of a sandwich, apple, and Milano cookies. I accompany dinner with a movie, a sweet Australian film called The December Boys.

11a.m. – After another attempt at sleeping, I pick out another movie, Date Night, which was so very bad that I only finished it because I was half asleep and captive. For shame, Tina Fey.

1p.m. – One last shot at sleeping is followed by a half-hearted attempt at finding some interest in touchscreen solitaire.

2:45 p.m. – Up and at ‘em to brush my teeth and wash my face.

3:00 p.m. – Watch an episode of the kind-of clever show, Castle.

4:00 p.m. – Breakfast – omelet, fresh fruit, yogurt, croissant, and orange juice. I eat breakfast with an episode of Chuck. So many goofy crime shows, so little time.

4:45 p.m. – Cup of coffee from the flight attendant. I find Rosanne Cash’s CD The List on offer on the Americana channel, so I stream it while I read some more of her book and enjoy the sunrise.

5:45 p.m. – Fill out customs form and then watch as the first glimpses of land come into sight. The terrain is dramatic cliffs with crashing waves, which look glorious in the morning sunshine. The Sydney airport is at Botany Bay, which is where Captain Cook first landed, so there’s a hint of adventure in the arrival.

5:51p.m. – Land in Sydney. “Welcome to Sydney and g’day!,” says our pilot. Deplaning and customs are pretty easy, taking about an hour. My bags were sniffed out by one of these ferocious beasts, who keep Australia’s borders safe from contraband:

(www.daff.gov.au)

Thankfully, they passed muster and by 6:45 p.m. EST – which I’ve now changed my watch to reflect 8:45a.m. Sydney time – I am seeing Partner-in-Crime for the first time in over two months. We share an “Unconditional Surrender” moment, and then off we go to embark upon our new Australian life together.