Just When I Thought I Knew Australia, I Went and Got a Job

Following nearly a year of unemployment while I searched for my dream job (maybe you remember me whinging here), I eventually buckled down and got a non-dream job, which I've been at for six weeks, now. In many ways, the job is quite outside of my wheelhouse ... it involves talking on the phone all day, dealing with cranky people, and being part of a huge company with corporate micro-management and excessive use of acronyms.

But, overall, it is a nice company to work for, provides an incredible level of compensation by American standards, and best of all, gives me the chance to leave the house everyday with a sense of purpose. I am simply not a self-motivated enough person for long stretches of free time to serve me well.

The job has also involved an extensive 7-week full-time training period (one more week to go!). During this time, I've been in a little room with seven other new recruits and a few trainers. Despite having done a lot of travelling and touristy things, this has honestly been the best education I've yet gotten about Australian culture.

A few highlights of my ongoing education:

Social Studies:  Our group is like a little microcosm of Sydney. There is me - ink hardly dry on my visa. Then, there are three Australians who are first generation from China, Sri Lanka, and Pakistan. They all have to have one foot in each culture, making them quite individual and interestingly complex. And, finally four "true blue Aussies," with longer family backgrounds in Oz, round out the crew. Sydney is such a diverse city that our little United Colors of Benneton group seems to me to hold up a mirror to the cultural makeup of the larger metropolis.

English 101: I have learned a whole range of new Aussie slang, and am beginning to suspect that you can apply the "shorten and add "y" or "o"" rule to pretty much any word in order to Aussify it. For awhile, I was coming home with a new one everyday. ("Guess what "dezo" means!" "Guess what polly means!" "Guess what devo means!" ...)

English 102: Previously, I believed that there was no equivalent to the Southern word, "y'all" - a plural form of "you." Well, turns out that there's a word in Aussie slang ... "yous." Pronounced yooz, it means the same thing as y'all. And, like the much maligned y'all, yous is considered a bit of a bogan-y (read: redneck-y) thing to say. When asked about yous, my posh city friends turned up their noses and said that you would only say it if you were "from the Western suburbs" (read: Alabama/Mississippi/Arkansas ... or whatever state/country neighbors yours that you consider to be less educated and/or intelligent). As a Southerner, I think I'm predisposed to have an appreciation for yous.

Math: Since I work with databases, I have to enter dates all day long. Perhaps the hardest part about adjusting to this job has been getting comfortable with the way that dates are notated here.

In the U.S., we say "November 25, 2010" and write "11/25/10."

Here, they say "25 November 2010" and write "25/11/10."

Now, if you think about it, this makes a lot more sense because it moves from the smallest unit (day) to the largest (year) in order. Whereas, we Americans mix it all up. But, when you've said and written dates in this manner for your entire life, it is muy difficult to adjust on the fly. I keep getting confused.

Psychology: Another interesting way of looking at numbers is the Australian way of reading double or triple numbers in a series.

For example, if an American had an account numbered 255888, we would say, "Two, five, five, eight, eight, eight."

An Australian would say, "Two, double five, triple eight."

The amazing thing about this is that it showcases that we literally see numbers differently. In order to say "double 5," you have to first put the fives together in your mind. My mind sees "five and then another five," whereas the Australian mind sees "double five."

Cultural Exchange: At times, I've been the "token American," and have tried my best to answer such questions as:

-"Why don't Americans hang their wet clothes out on the line?"
-"What is jelly and why would you ever eat it with peanut butter?"
-"Why do Americans have such huge drinks."
-"You mean that some people in America don't have health coverage?"
-"Why does university cost so much in America?"
-"What are grits?"
-"How is Target different in the U.S.?"
-"Do you eat a lot of hot dogs?"

I should add that all of these questions have been asked with a genuine sense of questioning, not in a patronizing way. Everyone in my little group has been so welcoming, and the few Australians I've spoken to on the phone so far who have pointed out my American accent have done so with friendly intentions.

After next week, my training is over, and I'll be spending my all of my days on the phone with all sorts of Australians. No doubt, the cultural education has just begun.