Friendship, Friendship, Just the Perfect Blendship

Group Hug, American Style

I have a bad-expat confession:
After a year in Australia, I have few Australian friends.


Oh, I have friends, lovely, funny, warm, charming, be-there-in-a-pinch friends. I count myself fortunate to have made such a collection of quality comrades in a short time. But, nearly all of them are fellow expats.


It is not that Australians are not friendly. In fact, they are world-famous for their friendliness and extroversion. It is more that most of the locals that I meet are kind of "good to go" in the friend department. Sydney, in particular, is a city where it seems that people make their friends early in life and stick with them loyally. Some cities are like that. A good friend in the States who moved to a large city in the Midwest last year has, despite his vivacious and social personality, had a world of trouble breaking into any pre-established social circles.


I can understand this. In retrospect, I know there have been times in my life where, even if I did not realize it, I have not made myself available to new friendships. Sometimes your dance card is full and, while you may be kind, you don't exactly welcome new folks into your life with the fervor you do when you can really use a few new recruits into your backup band.


Unlike the locals, expats - particularly new ones - want new friends. I have made friends through American expat blogging circles and forums. Even Surfing Friend, who I made the acquaintance of in surf class, is a British expat.


In addition to the fact that other expats are psychologically more open to new friends, there is also a shortcut that I have found I share with other Americans. While I don't mean that I find Australians or people from other countries hard to understand, there is simply a pre-existing cultural identification between people from the same country.


I have an Australian acquaintance who lives in New York who told me that most of her friends are Australian, so I know it goes both ways.


I suppose whenever you make new friends, you are looking for any common-ground shortcut - be it working in the same industry, a similar hobby, political or religious beliefs, etc. My shortcut with American expats is sometimes as silly as missing orange cheese or sympathizing with how challenging it can be to remember to put the day in front of the month. At home, this might not be enough for us to build that initial bond, but thousands miles distant, those are just the things that start the nodding with understanding, laughter, and eventual deeper kinship.