Myths, Misnomers, and Mendacity

NaBloPoMo comes to an end, and it is going to be strange to not write everyday. I am facing that feeling we theatre people get after a show closes. What will I do with myself in all this free time as I re-adjust to life outside of "Blogomogo?"





I've covered a lot of my observations about Australia, up to this point; so to wrap things up for the month, I want to leave you with some of the misconceptions that I brought with me. I, like many in the U.S., was  overfed by hyperbolic cultural references like Crocodile Dundee, and Australia, and starved of a good deal of reality. Since I've arrived, I have learned that the following are myths about life in Australia.

Fosters is not Australian for beer. 

You'd be hard pressed to even order a Fosters in a pub here.
Now, Fosters is the parent company of some of the more popular lines of beer here, but if you visit, definitely don't try out your best Paul Hogan and order a "Fosters, mate." You'll be out of luck, and heartily laughed at.

Shrimp on the barbie? What's that?

It's nothing unusual to see someone cooking shrimp on the barbie, just like you've heard; but no Australian would ever say that phrase. Why? Because shrimp here is called "prawns." Prawns on the barbie doesn't have quite the same ring, though.



Coriolis Effect

I am so sorry to disabuse you of the charming notion that water flows backwards in Australia. The way that water flows has everything to do with the engineering of sinks and toilets, and nothing to do with the equator. The supposed change in direction of water is often attributed to the Coriolis Effect. Unfortunately, it has been more than proven that the Coriolis Effect has absolutely no impact on small-scale events, like sinks draining. It really only applies to large-scale phenomena, like tornadoes.

It is fun to think that the water flows differently. In fact, Partner-in-Crime likes to attribute any difference in climate, plant-life, or just general health and well-being to the Coriolis Effect:


Me: "Look at the strange leaves on that tree!"
P-i-C: "Coriolis Effect."


Me: "I'm getting a headache."
P-i-C: "Coriolis Effect."

Not true, but kind of funny.

Australia is that little hunk of land way down in the corner of the world.

Who wouldn't want to put themselves at the center of the universe? North Americans, of course, see ourselves at the center of a world map.

Guess what ... so do Australians.



I know that it should go without saying that the world is round and, therefore, orientation is really a matter of perspective. But honestly, when you are so used to something as fundamental as what the world looks like, it does need saying.

Also, Australia is roughly the size of the United States. There's no quick hopping between cities. The idea that we here in Sydney are not too far from, say, Perth, is basically like suggesting that Tallahassee is pretty close to San Diego. It's a big country, y'all.

Australia is a dirty, dusty, desert-y barren land full of tumbleweeds and scorpions.

Australia hosts a vast number of different climates from beaches to rain forests to, yes, desert. But, what you might not know is that the vast majority of the population lives on the coast, nowhere near the Red Center. The aesthetic element that I was unprepared for in my mind's eye was the British influence. Sydney is chock full of manicured gardens, buildings with quaint little front gates and names like, "The Edwardian" or "Tudor House." It's all much more Merchant Ivory than Mad Max.





And now, Blogland, the time comes for me to wrap up and take a long winter's nap (summer's nap, actually ... Coriolis Effect). I'll be back soon, but for the first time in ages, not tomorrow. For today, here is my dollar for charity for checking off another item off my Day Zero list ... G'day, NaBloPoMo/Blogomogo!